photos of alumni slacking, bonding, stoning, etc at bugis swensens on 22/2/2007 are also available in the same link. this link will be used permanently for all guides & alumni photos.

Regards
kathy ong
president

For photos taken on BBQ on Friday, 9 FEB 07, please click here.

Love,
Secretary
Siow Qin

The art of farting is practiced by many, perfected by few. Perfecting the art of farting is a somewhat long, difficult but rewarding road to travel down. It is the symphony of foods and body function that causes this reaction we all long to occur. This guide teaches you the methods and mind set used by some of the worlds leading fartology organizations.

Leg Lift "Elevator" Position
Standing upright with a slight curve to the back, lift either leg (almost like doing the jig, except with your leg off to the side - never to the front) and allow the fart event to occur. This one is by far the most popular. Ranked best position for elevator farts for its ability to expel farts quickly and accurately between floors. The signature of a leg lifter in an elevator is the smile of glee on their face as they exit, as you unknowingly enter.

Pros: Amusement of only being able to guess how many floors the unknowing new occupants must endure. High buildings that you will most likely not visit again are a bonus.

Cons: After a successful execution of the fart, you leave the elevator and the unknowing others enter, which is fine. However, you realize you are on the wrong floor and must re-enter the same elevator. Truly a bad call.

Imperial" Throne Position
Just a reminder that your mind associates this position with a lack of bodily control. This one involves sitting, squatting or bending down into a huddled position. Some of the worlds most fermented and catastrophic farts were achieved using this very position. Think of it as a game of leap frog, but without the leaping (or at least voluntarily).

Pros: Incredible leverage, captures the true potential of the fart.

Cons: Similar to when taking a shit, which could confuse mind and cause "dyer" consequences. This one in the car in a new suit on route to a job interview is not recommended.

Wal-Mart Fart Position
There have been so many reports of this position and its success of creating "brown air" that have won it accolades world wide. Shop as you normally would at Wal-Mart. Locate a desired purchase (at least the weight of say, a clothes detergent box) at the bottom shelf in an unoccupied isle. As you are lifting the heavy load in a squatting position, let the magic happen. You will be pleasantly surprised. At first you may point out the similarities to the throne position, but you will be in awe by what the additional weight load achieves. Weight lifters doing squats after a heavy meal know how well weight can affect fartage potency and volume.

Pros: Due to the narrow, almost encapsulating design of the isles, farts can remain lingering for hours after initial production. Many more people can enjoy their shopping due to your efforts versus the leg lift position.

Cons: Eager and usually frantic discount shoppers change isles with a furor only matched by 9am shoppers at a department store boxing day blow out sale. This can result in a by standard surprise attack and the very terrible mission abort consequence.

Power Arching
Lean your hands onto a counter top or table (or if available, hang onto your towel rack) while arching your back. If this is difficult for you to visualize, think back to your last visit to the car repair shop. Similar to the "ass pounding" position you take when getting the quote to have your car's transmission replaced. Power arching is excellent for "customer service" counters at department stores; local Radio Shack stores when reaching over and examining an expensive and ridiculous keychain that has a flashlight, time telling in 12 languages, compass and calculator all in one; a supermarket you do not usually visit.

Pros: The arching of the back allows your power conduit to be fully utilized. Less conspicuous than the Throne Position.

Cons: A warning to people with small houses or apartments: power arching in the small confines of a room in your house has been known to cause carpet, wall and even ceiling damage. Even more so, lasting damage to newly blossoming relationships with girlfriends and not so blossoming marriages.



All positions and locations have their pros and cons, it is the duty of an aspiring fart master to leverage the situations and environments available to him or her. With a bit of thoughtful planning you can start off the day with some power arching in the library; do a bit of leg lifting at the food court for lunch; and wind up the day with an all out assault on your senses with a satisfying throne position fart in the car on the way home. Remember, its all about position, location and a "can-do" attitude!



Contributed by
Bonding IC, CL Choong



Ways Of Picking Your Nose



Deep Salvage Pick
Reminiscent of the deep sea exploration to find the Titanic ship, you probe deep into your nasal passages.

Utensil Pick
When fingers, and even your thumb, just aren't enough to get the job done to your satisfaction.

Extra Pick
When you have been digging for nuggets hours upon hours and suddenly you hit the jackpot! Excitement only equalled by winning the lottery.

Depression Pick
When you're sad, and the only way to fill the void is to pick so hard and fast that the agony overcomes your feeling of remorse and depression.

Pick A Lot
What we would call abnormal amounts of picking. Anything in the three digit realm we consider a bit too much for a 24 hour time frame.

Kiddie Pick
When you're by yourself and you uninhibitedly twist your forefinger into your nostril with childlike joy and freedom. And the best part is, there's no time limit!

Camouflaged Kiddie Pick
When, in the presence of other people, you wrap your forefinger in a tissue, then thrust it in deep and hold back the smile.

Fake Nose Scratch
When you make believe you've got an itch but you're really trolling the nostril edge for stray boogers.

Making A Meal Out Of It
You do it so furiously, and for so long, you're probably entitled to dessert.

Surprise Pickings
When a sneeze or laugh causes snot to come hurling out of your nose, and you have to gracefully clean it off your shirt.

Autopick
The kind you do in a car, when no one's looking. Also can mean automatic pick, the one you do when your not even thinking about it, at work, while talking to a co-worker, during a meeting....

Pick Your Brains
Done in private, this is the one where your finger goes in so far, it passes the septum.

Pick And Save
When you have to pick it quickly, just when someone looks away, and then you pocket the snot so they don't catch on to what you did.

Pick And Flick
Snot now becomes a weapon against your sister and others in range around you.

Pick And Stick
You wanted it to be a "Pick and Flick," but it stubbornly clings to your fingertip.

Pipe Cleaner Pick
The kind where you remove a piece of snot so big, it improves your breathing by 90%.

A man goes to a psychiatrist, and tells him "Doc, I think I have an obsession with sex." The doctor agrees to examine him and begins by showing him various drawings. First the doctor draws a square and asks the man to identify it. The man immediate ly says "sex". Next the doctor draws a circle, which the man again identifies as sex. Thirdly, the doctor draws a triangle, which of course the patient identifies as "sex". The doctor puts the drawings away and says to the patient, "Yes, I do believe t hat you have an obsession with sex." To which the man replies, "I'm not the one with the obsession! YOU'RE the one drawing all the dirty pictures!"

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Q1. What do you call a sheep with no legs?---- a cloud =D

Sec 4 (2006)
The batch which has went through the toughest training.
They use the shortest time to learn everything.
Hyperactive, never seems to grow up but this brings joy in guiding
A united and committed batch

Sec 4
The batch which receive the most scolding
They encounter the most problems yet tried and carried out new things
Quiet, serious but responsive
A responsible batch

Sec 3
The batch which join the family during comfortable times
They are the leaders to be
They might not know what the true HSCS guides’ spirit is but they are willing to learn
A batch that needs more trainings

Sec 2
The batch which miss the chance to be trained by A, B, C
They know guides as a playing CCA till the training camp
Young, energetic, vibrant
A potential batch

Sec 1
The new members of HSCS guides family
They are the biggest batch in the whole family
Characteristics are not yet discovered
They represent the future

We wish to congratulate alumni guides for their wonderful O levels results. Let this be good examples for the girls to show that commitment in CCA will not affect results as it all boils down to proper time management. Once again, great job girls! :]

TO ALL HSC GUIDES:

If We Hold On Together

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and i

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Somebody is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and i

When we are out there in the dark
Well dream about the sun
In the dark well feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and i

Girls, we must hold on together. OUR DREAMS WILL NEVER DIE! We've come a long long way & we will not give up just like that. UNITY IS STRENGTH!

2001

3 guides(A,B,C) along with more then 10 other guides joined the HSCS guides family. The company wasn't as big as now and the activities they had were theory, songs, a bit of gadgets, lousy drills and nothing else. Due to the boring programmes every week, guides A, B,C lost interest in guides soon after and began to have the intention to skip guides and they really did soon. Most importantly, guides as a uniformed group wasn't being respected in school at all. Guides themselves don't even dare to announce their cca openly. They were being jeered at, looked down upon esp during speech day period. They have perpetually nothing to be proud of and quitting might be the only way out. Moreover, guides A, B, C still decided to stay on. Deep in their heart, they have decided to change the entire guides unit when they take over although they are just sec1.

2002

2002 happened to be an important year for HSCS guides because the evolution started. At the beginning of the year, things were still bad because the guides unit only manages to recruit 3 new sec 1 and many more sec2 are quitting.
This caused the remaining guides to lose more standing in school. Fortunately, at this trying period, MS CINDY SOH, our new guider, came. Things did not change exactly fast because there is no way to change a phenomenon overnight. Step by step approach was taken. Potential leaders from sec2 were chosen(including guides A,B,C) and trained personally by ms soh. AND the guides first ever fund raising project which was to sell cookies during the chinese new year period in 2003 was initiated in 2002 as well. The funds raised might look insignificant, but its of utmost importance to the unit. The leaders chosen participated actively in this project and they began to rise up.

2003

Things started to change for the better( recruited approx 14 new guides) but conflicts within the unit started. The sec 4 leaders who are still the in charge of guides, did not like the idea of juniors stepping in as'leaders'. When guides A,B,C asked for permission to be the trainer for the new sec1, they were rejected directly. Nevertheless, A,B,C still decided to go against their seniors as there was really an urgent need for a change in leadership. So, the fun and tough training for the new sec1 started. Under the leadership of A,B,C, not only must the sec1 attend the compulsory saturday trainings, they are also made to come down on every fridays for trainings. Things went on fine initially but some time later, the sec1 began to bear grudges against A,B,C due to the intensive trainings and the leaders have to admit that trainings were too tough but there wasn't any time to waste. Fortunately, the leaders along with the sec1 have a good talk together and all misunderstandings were solved. Thereafter, term 2 started and the A,B,C,1 sec 3 and 1 sec2 were officially promoted to patrol leaders and C was also made the commander. Though the company was small, the 5 leaders along with the the guiders, ms soh and ms fah, still worked hard for the unit. Bad habits were eradicated and new cultures were being set up. The leaders were given the right, freedom and authority to run the unit.

Then SARS broke out and school stopped. And due to this SARS, speech day was delayed to august, which means the sec4 seniors will not be able to join, which means not enough people to form a squad. Luckily, the sec1 who had undergone the intensive trainings made very good progress and most of them were chosen to join their first ever speech day. So, the contingent, headed by guide C embarked on the journey that change the school's impression of guides. Although HSCS guides had the youngest participants, the drills improved as a whole and that was the first time HSCS guides was praised by others. Thus, the leaders knew that their efforts were not wasted and they have to continue on.

In the year of 2003, things happened in a very quick pace.The leaders had to stay back in school nearly everyday to do preparations for trainings and other school activities as they had to learn from the basic. They either had to learn skills from ms soh, or they had to learn from other uniform groups. The school nearly turned into their second home. On top of that, they also joined a lot of HQ activities including PLTC.The leaders along with a few sec1 became the pioneer batch of HSCS guides who attended PLTC. However, till now, there wasn't any regrets in A,B,C. With that, the sec1 and A,B,C broke a record. All the new sec1 manage to learn all skills and theory within a year. Not only that, the sec 1 even learned the leadership skills. A,B,C were proud of their juniors and that was something that pushed them on.

2004

This was a pretty tiring year for the leaders as they are already in sec4. However, that did not stop them from contributing. They continue to lend their help in orientation and all other activities, including the first orientation campfire and Damai Primary School P5 camp(a project by all UG and student leaders; A,B,C became the advisors for the committee). But, things weren't going their way. This year, for whatever reason, mock exams will commence in january and it will be on every saturdays. This means that the leaders will not be able to attend CCA on time and who will be the one leading? Thankfully, the sec2 batch was a good lot and they picked up skills fast. Thus, the tough job of leading landed on their shoulders. They did not let the leaders down. Their first leading opportunity was when the new sec1 come in. Initially, the leaders still feel worried but there is no way they can skip mock exam, so, helpless, they can only trust the sec2. Results proved that the worries were redundant. When the leaders returned from their mock exams, they could see that the juniors were enjoying themselves and the guiders were there also. Suddenly, ms soh announced that "A is company leader, B is the assistant leader and C is the senior patrol leader". This sudden announcement shocked A,B,C but they collected their feelings quickly and continued the programmes.

As the time went by, the leaders learned more and more skills and they tried to impart as much skills to their juniors as well. HSCS guides unit became stronger day by day and nobody in school dare to look down on them again. However, the leaders know that their responsibilities do not end there. The sec2 were still young and they still need seniors around to guide them. Thus, they carried this responsibility even till prelims. It was only till O levels that they decided to stop for a moment to study. Luckily, their O's results were still not too bad. And it was because of O levels that the leaders missed their chance to go on an overseas trip with their juniors and this trip happened to the first overseas activity that HSCS guides had.

At the end of the year, after O levels, A,B,C decided to take up the post of Young Adult Unit Helper(YAUH) so as to continue render help to their juniors.

2005

A,B,C graduated. Working(A) and college life(B,C) started for them but that did not prevent them from returning to hai sing. In fact, the time spent in guides seemed to increase and trainings were officially changed to thursday. Due to the good performance in 2004, guides obtained the opportunity to lead the orientation campfire again and it will continue yearly. As per 2004, the recruitment and orientation were successful. Guides unit continues to grow in strength. Thereafter, A entered polytechnic while B,C in junior college. Happy days were not meant to be long. One day, A told B,C that she will quit YA due to some reasons. Some misunderstandings occur. Thus, A returned from less frequent to none. So, B and C had to take up the responsibility and continue on.

Soon, some sec3 were promoted with H as CL, S as ACL and T as SPL and many more as PLs and PSs. Things were hectic initially as this batch of leaders tend to be more active and playful but, of course, things change for the better especially in june. It is all because of the first training camp. Due to this camp, the guides learned not only skills but character development as well. They became more disciplined, more tough, unlike typical guides. HSCS guides are special. We have created an image of our own. During the camp, B,C had to bring piles of books to study due to the upcoming mid-yr exams but they did not regret.

Towards the end of the year, B,C and the sec3 leaders began to worry about the choice of leaders. Thus, they decided to start the selection and trainings of leaders. Before that, all guides went for the annual guides camp at aloha chalet. Though scolding from B,C was expected but overall, it was fun and it really allowed the leaders and juniors to get closer together.

2006

HSCS guides continue to strive in campfires and recruitment and the chicken that was cooked using outdoor cooking became their signature dish. However, due to bad weather this year, the guides were forced to have recruitment in the canteen but this did not reduce their girlpower at all.

At the start of the year, HSCS guides were also invited by Cuon scouts troop to participate in the community care project. This relationship was formed during the cuon scouts campfire 2005. Thereafter, the scouts even taught HSCS guides basic pioneering skills and this started HSCS guides pioneering journey. Whilst all this happened, leaders trainings continued. Term 2 came very quickly and sec 4 had to step down soon and B,C had to concentrate on A levels as well. Thus, the ex-co were formed. This ex-co consists of M as CL, J as ACL, YS as SPL, A' as SPL and 5 more PLs. 5 sec2 were also promoted to PS. The passing-down ceremony were both serious and funny at the same time simply because it was impromptu.

Problems arise after the ex-co took over as they were not united at all. Lack of communications caused them to be unable to carry out work effectively. Thus, B,C and H had to stepped in and it was this period of time that juniors said that C become more strict and fierce. The ex-co undergone a lot of reflections and scolding sessions (The most memorable of all is the meet-up at C's home at 6.30am). After that, B,C could not afford to help out weekly due to heavy school workload and the ex-co had to really take charge. Luckily, they still received help from some of the sec4.

Then in term 3, ms soh announced that she will be leaving HSC, leaving guides. All guides felt sad for it and C felt that there was a need to give ms soh a memorable teachers day and thus their first fancy drills was initiated. Quick and accurate planning were made and the trainings were carried out at a field in simei. The guides had to endure both hot sun and rain. Though the attendance was not as good as expected, the guides performance was great. In the morning of the teachers' day celebration, the guides + sec 4+ B,C meet up in hsc for final rehearsal. Thereafter, there was a heavy downpour but fortunately, it turned into a drizzle slowly. After the school celebration, all guides gathered in their appropriate attire waiting for final signal to start. Throughout the preparation and execution, ms soh was kept in the dark. Then, the fancy drills started with C giving out the first command. The guides enjoyed it, the seniors had a sense of achievement and ms soh appreciated it.

What followed the fancy drills was another fancy drills in the training camp. This time, it was planned and executed purely by the ex-co. It was cute and all seniors appreciated the juniors' efforts. In the camp, B,C were very glad to see the ex-co and sec4 growing up, becoming leaders, and able to live up to "leading with example". At that point of time, C was very sure that guides will continue to strive high under the ex-co but, of course, unexpected things happened. Ms soh left in 2006 and ms fah, due to health reasons, had to leave as well but they will not be forgotten.

2007

The year started busily. Guides, once again had to take charge of the orientation campfire but this year, recruitment and orientation did not fall on the same day. So, it results in some confusion and the execution was rather messy. On top of that, guides had to put up a fancy drills performance. All in all, everything was successful especially the campfire. The sec1 enjoyed very much. Because of all these events, guides managed to recruit 25 new sec 1 and this is the highest record they achieved. It really touched the heart of A,B,C to see the strong AND disciplined company. They can proudly say that they have done their best and given their all. The foundation is laid but will this continues to improve or it will return to what happen in 2001and will there still be anymore TRUE haisian guide. Whatever it is, A,B,C will always be proud of their juniors and , by example, they will all lead.

Memories of a True haisian guide, C